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Adult Children of Alcoholics

adult coa thinking deeply

Being Available

Today I will open myself to healing in my relationships. So much of life depends on the quality of intimacy with myself and so much of the quality of my intimacy is the quality of my relationships. It is synergistic. As my relationship with myself and my Higher Power gets better, my other relationships grow. Deep healing with people I care about has much more significance than might appear; it is soul – and life-transforming. I experience moments of quiet expansion when my heart and mind actually feel as if they are widening in all directions. Even though I cannot necessarily sustain this burst, part of it remains with me, integrates into my personality and becomes mine. I am willing to grow a step at a time and heal little by little.
I can heal hurt relationships.

Life is not living, but living in health.Martial

Recovery Begins with Accepting Two Basic Rights


We have the right to talk about the real issues.


We have the right to feel.

Adult Children Need to Take Four Primary Steps

Judith Viorst wrote in Necessary Losses, “It is true that as long as we live we may keep repeating the patterns established in childhood. It is true that the present is powerfully shaped by the past. But it is also true that insight at any age keeps us from singing the same sad songs again.”


Click on any of the four steps below for thoughts to help you let go of the past and begin recovery.


Explore Past History


Connect the Past to the Present


Challenge Internalized Beliefs


Learn New Skills


Emotional Sobriety Is About Finding and Maintaining Our Emotional Equilibrium

Emotional sobriety helps us to adjust the intensity of our emotional responses to life. It is tied up in our ability to self regulate on both a mind and body level, to bring ourselves into balance when we fall out of it. Issues with excessive self medication say with food, alcohol or drugs or compulsive approaches to activities like sex, work or spending tend to reflect a lack of ability to comfortable self regulate. Emotions impact our thinking more than our thinking impacts our emotions. When our emotions are out of control, in other words, so is our thinking. And when we can’t bring our feeling and thinking into some sort of balance, our life and our relationships show it. In order to maintain our emotional equilibrium, we need to be able to use our thinking mind to decode and understand our feeling mind. That is, we need to feel our feelings and then use our thinking to make sense and meaning out of them. Balance is that place where our thinking, feeling and behavior are reasonably congruent; where we operate in a reasonably integrated flow.

– Tian Dayton, PhD


Highlighted Videos


​Achieving Emotional Sobriety

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​Walking on Eggshells

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​Signs of Emotional Sobriety

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Immediate Access to Help

Tragic events in the media or in your local communities can be PTSD triggers, resurrecting past occurrences in your family. Disaster Distress Helpline is a free, confidential, and multilingual crisis support service for callers and texters. The Helpline staff provides confidential counseling, referrals, and other needed support services. 1-800-985-5990 or Text TalkWithUs to 66746.

Disaster Distress Helpline