NACoA’s Parent’s Guide: Talking to Kids and Teens About Alcohol and Other Substances (PDF)
Practical guidance for honest, age-appropriate conversations, family expectations, peer pressure, and healthy decision-making.
You may have noticed changes in your child’s mood, behavior, friendships, school life, health, or responsibilities. You may have found alcohol, vaping products, pills, or other substances—or simply have a feeling that something is not right.
It can be difficult to know what is part of growing up and what may indicate that your child needs help. You do not have to diagnose the problem yourself, and you do not need absolute proof before starting a calm conversation.
No single behavior proves that a child or teen is using alcohol or drugs. Look for patterns, combinations of changes, and problems that continue or become more serious over time.
Changes that may deserve closer attention include:
Many of these changes can have other causes, including stress or mental-health concerns. The goal is not to label your child. It is to notice what is happening and decide whether professional guidance is appropriate.
Choose a time when you are both calm and have enough privacy to talk. Begin with specific observations rather than accusations: “I have noticed…” or “I am concerned because…”
Ask open questions and listen before responding. Your child may deny using substances, minimize what happened, become angry, or avoid the conversation. Staying calm does not mean ignoring the concern. It helps keep communication possible.
Be clear about your family’s expectations and any immediate safety limits. Avoid labels, humiliation, threats you cannot enforce, or trying to cover every issue in one conversation. This is likely to be the beginning of an ongoing discussion.
A simple plan can help you move from fear to informed action:
Do not rely only on untrained friends or relatives to determine whether your child has a substance-use problem. A qualified professional can consider substance use alongside physical health, mental health, development, family history, and other factors.
Connection and communication matter before, during, and after a concern arises. Parents can help by:
These resources can help you prepare for conversations, answer questions, and find language that feels natural:
Practical guidance for honest, age-appropriate conversations, family expectations, peer pressure, and healthy decision-making.
Information from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism for parents and guardians, with a focus on young teens.
SAMHSA’s prevention campaign offers conversation tools, an app, screening resources, videos, and materials for parents and caregivers.
Free information, personalized guidance, a family helpline, online support groups, and resources for prevention, treatment, and recovery.
This NACoA video explores how parents can help protect children through connection, information, healthy modeling, and ongoing conversations.
If you remain concerned, begin with someone qualified to evaluate the situation. Your child’s pediatrician, school counselor or social worker, a local treatment provider, or another licensed professional can help you determine whether an assessment is needed.
Partnership to End Addiction provides free, confidential support specifically for families addressing a child’s substance use. SAMHSA’s National Helpline provides treatment information and referrals for individuals and families.
Get Family Support From Partnership to End Addiction
Contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline
Is another adult’s alcohol or drug use affecting the child you care for? Visit Help a Child Affected by Family Addiction.
