The Seven Cs
Graham explains how the Seven Cs can help you make sense of what is happening.
When a parent or someone else you love struggles with alcohol or other drugs, home can feel confusing, unpredictable, or lonely.
You may care deeply about that person and still feel angry, embarrassed, worried, or exhausted. None of this is your fault, and you do not have to work through it alone.
NACoA has spent more than 40 years helping children and teens understand how family addiction affects their lives. The resources on this page can help you name what is happening, protect your well-being, and find people who understand.
Words such as “alcoholic” and “addict” are often used to describe people living with addiction. NACoA uses “addiction,” “alcohol use disorder,” or “substance use disorder” because these terms describe a medical condition—not a person’s identity.
If you need immediate emotional support, call or text 988 or use the 988 Lifeline chat. Trained counselors provide free, confidential support 24 hours a day.
Living with a parent’s substance use is hard. The Seven Cs are a simple way to remember what belongs to you—and what does not.
I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. But I can take care of myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and celebrating myself.
High school senior Graham Nye shares what it was like to live with a father who struggled with—and eventually died from—alcohol use disorder.
Graham explains how the Seven Cs can help you make sense of what is happening.
Talking honestly about parental substance use can be an important part of moving through what happened.
Learn six essential truths that can help you understand you are not alone and that help is available.
Resilience includes taking care of yourself and learning to engage with other people in respectful, healthy ways.
NACoA partners with the I AM ME app to help young people ages 11–24 take an active role in their mental health and well-being.
The free app includes relevant articles, self-help tools, a mood indicator, a stress tracker, personal-development tips, specialist tools, audio, video, and encouraging messages. It is available through the App Store and Google Play.
The goal is not to pretend everything is okay. It is to understand what affects your mental health, become more comfortable with who you are, and build your own definition of success and purpose.
“Having access to I AM ME would have made such a difference in my life. It provides a sense of guidance and clarity that can truly boost self-confidence and alleviate stress.” — Erin, age 17
“I AM ME is a game-changer. It offers the support system I wish I had during the toughest moments of my adolescence.” — Alex, age 19
The earlier someone begins using alcohol or other drugs, the greater the chance of developing a substance use disorder. Most people who develop a substance use disorder began using substances before age 18. Learn more from NIDA’s adolescent treatment guidance.
Having a parent with a substance use disorder can also increase your risk. That does not mean addiction is your future. It means that protecting your developing brain and delaying alcohol or drug use matters.
One of the strongest ways to lower your risk is to delay the first time you experiment. Protect your brain and give it time to develop.
Start with the guides that match what you are dealing with now. The articles below offer more context when you want to go deeper.
A message for children and teens growing up with addiction in the family.
Read A Letter for YouLearn how addiction affects the brain, behavior, and family.
Explore Addiction A–ZQuestions that can help you make sense of behavior you have noticed at home.
View the GuideUnderstand how one person’s substance use can affect the whole family.
View the Family GuideClear explanations of common words you may hear when someone seeks help.
View the Recovery GuidePractical ways to protect your choices when other people pressure you to drink or use drugs.
View the Peer Pressure GuideLearn how family addiction can place adult responsibilities on teens and affect plans for the future.
Read the ArticleSee how peer support can help teens share the load and build resilience.
Read About AlateenAlcohol use disorder is a medical condition that makes it hard for someone to control their drinking. It affects the brain, behavior, and decision-making. Like other health conditions, it can require professional treatment and ongoing support.
There is no single cause. Genetics and family history can increase risk. Some people begin drinking occasionally and gradually lose control. Others drink to cope with stress, sadness, or anxiety. Over time, the brain and body can begin to rely on alcohol, making it difficult to stop without help.
Many people do not recognize the problem at first. Others feel ashamed, fear judgment, or blame their struggles on something else. Treatment can help, but asking for it may take time and support.
No. Alcohol use disorder can affect people of any age, income, background, or belief. It is a chronic, progressive, treatable, and potentially fatal health condition—not a measure of someone’s character.
No. Family members can encourage treatment and seek help from trained professionals, including intervention specialists, but they cannot control another person’s recovery. They also need support for their own emotional health. A person does not have to “hit rock bottom” before receiving help.
More than 12 million children in the United States live with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder. If this is part of your life, you are not the only one—even if no one around you talks about it. See the latest NIAAA data.
Talk with a safe adult such as a teacher, coach, school counselor, relative, healthcare professional, or faith leader. You can also connect with other young people through Alateen.
Yes. Having a parent or close relative with alcohol use disorder can increase your risk because addiction is partly hereditary. Starting to drink at a young age increases the risk further. Your brain continues developing until about age 25, so waiting—and avoiding underage drinking—helps protect it.
There is no simple cure, but recovery is possible. Treatment may include stopping or reducing drinking, medication, therapy, mutual-support groups, and family involvement. Many people with alcohol use disorder recover and live healthy lives.
Alateen is part of Al‑Anon Family Groups. It is a fellowship for young people, usually teenagers, whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. Alateen groups are sponsored by trained Al‑Anon members who help keep meetings safe and focused.
You can attend even if the person has stopped drinking, entered treatment, moved out, or no longer lives with you. The effects on a family can continue after active drinking stops.
Visit Alateen’s Teen Corner Take the Alateen Self-Quiz
Search the online directory for meetings in your area. If there is no Alateen meeting nearby, family members age 12 or older may attend a regular Al‑Anon Family Group or an Al‑Anon adult children meeting. Questions may be emailed to wso@al-anon.org.
View the Online Alateen Directory
Mobile-app meetings are designed for young people ages 13–18 and are moderated by two Alateen Group Sponsors. Teens may change their screen name after entering the meeting room to attend anonymously.
Current weekly meeting times are Monday at 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. Eastern; Wednesday at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Eastern; and Thursday at 7:30 p.m. Eastern. The app is available in English, Spanish, and French, although most current meetings are held in English.
Learn About Alateen Electronic Meetings
Alateen is about progress, not perfection. Over time, meetings can help you build friendships with people who understand, develop resilience, and form your own view of recovery—not just your parent’s.
Your first meeting may feel unfamiliar. Look for signs directing you to the room or ask someone for help. Many of the people there once walked into a meeting for the first time too.
Growing up around addiction can make it feel as though someone else’s needs always come first. They do not have to. You deserve people who listen, information that makes sense, and a life that is not defined by another person’s substance use.
Start with one step that feels right for you: talk with a trusted adult, explore a mental health tool, or connect with people who understand.
Would you like more students to have access to clear, trustworthy information about family addiction? Send this page to your school counselor, social worker, teacher, coach, or another trusted adult. They can share NACoA resources with students who may need them.
