Our guest blogger is Tony Gambill, an established thought leader on Self-Leadership and Leading Others. He has published over 50 articles for Forbes Leadership on these topics and a book, Getting It Right When It Matters Most: Self-Leadership For Work & Life. Tony brings over 25 years of executive and leadership consulting experience in the for-profit and nonprofit sectors, technical fields, research, healthcare, government, and higher education.
How we respond during our most difficult moments will ultimately define our success. Emotionally competent people are aware of their feelings when experiencing fear, anger, loss, or frustration and choose actions that align with their core values. When we feel threatened and experience negative emotions, it can inhibit our ability to accurately perceive situations, solve problems, make decisions, and collaborate with others.
Learning to PAUSE helps you guard against negative emotions that distort how you perceive situations, make decisions, solve problems, and collaborate with others. The goal is to develop your ability to effectively manage your emotions so that they inform you but donโt define you.
๐ญ) ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ข๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฃ๐ต๐๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐น ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ง๐ผ ๐ก๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐๐บ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐
One way to become aware of when your negative emotions are triggered is to understand how your body reacts when encountering a threatening situation. As physical signals are tangible, they tend to be easier to recognize than being aware of your emotional state. Some of the most common physical responses when experiencing negative emotions are:
- Clenched Jaw
- Shallow And Increased Breathing
- Rapid Heart Rate
- Sinking Feeling In Your Stomach
- Flushed Face
- Increased Sweating
๐ฎ) ๐จ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ง๐ฟ๐ถ๐ด๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ๐
Understanding which conditions consistently cause you the most frustration, anger, or anxiety allows you to prepare strategies to respond effectively instead of constantly reacting. The Leadership Development Institute’s research found that the most common behavioral triggers for negative emotional responses in the workplace were perceiving others as:
- Unreliable
- Unappreciative
- Micro-Managing
- Abrasive
- Hostile
- Overly Analytical
- Aloof
- Self-centered
- Untrustworthy
๐ฏ) ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ด๐ป๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐บ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ง๐ฟ๐ถ๐ด๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ
Understanding your most common reactions when feeling triggered by negative emotions allows us to catch ourselves when we are reacting. It is important to stop ourselves from reacting to negative emotions because these behaviors rarely serve our longer-term goals and values. The ability to PAUSE and regain composure enables us to re-engage in the conversation and choose the responses that serve our best selves. Below are common reactions when feeling triggered by negative emotions:
- Arguing Or Debating
- Generalizing Based On One Incident
- Denying Other Perspectives
- Shutting Down
- Blaming Others
- Trying To Win At All Costs
The ability to Pause and regain composure enables us to re-engage and choose actions that serve our best long-term goals and values. The goal is to develop your ability to effectively manage your emotions so that they inform you but don’t define you. Psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor E. Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
The ability to Pause allows you to access that freedom.
