There is now little doubt in the recovery community that not only is alcohol use disorder a chronic disease, similar to other chronic diseases like diabetes or cancer, but it is also a “family disease.” This means that alcohol use disorder affects not only the individual but also emotionally affects everyone in the home, especially the children. These effects don’t go away simply because a child grows up. Adult children of alcoholics/alcohol use disorder often have to deal with the psychological effects of growing up in a household profoundly affected by alcohol addiction. They deserve support to find healing and recovery and break the cycle of addiction in their future.

How Can Addiction Affect a Child in the Home?

According to a 2017 report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), “Approximately 10.5% (7.5 million) of U.S. children ages 17 and younger live with a parent who has alcohol use disorder.” Many people estimate this percentage will be higher in 2023 due to the long-lasting negative effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, such as an increase in parental substance use disorder (SUD), an increase in childhood isolation, and a lack of community and school support systems.

Even with those statistics, it is difficult to finitely speculate the extent of emotional, mental, behavioral, and physical damage alcohol addiction can have on a household. It can be emotionally stunting for children who do not get the love and attention they deserve with this household disruption in situ. Contemplating the disease of addiction can be psychologically perplexing for those untouched by the disease in their lives. Discerning how a parent could elevate a drink before the needs of their own child’s well-being seems implausible for those who do not understand the bonds and suffering of a parent’s active substance use disorder.

children growing up in homes with substance use disorders are often impacted with behavioral problems, and we see children manifesting their emotions through risky and destructive behaviors of self, others or environments. The reality is that households with lived addiction experience, are also much more likely to exhibit situations of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse; thus, significantly increasing the potential for future psychological problems, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for children of alcoholics (COA’s).

How Can Addiction in the Home Affect Adult Children of Alcoholics Later in Life?

It is important to note that being an adult child of an alcoholic does not automatically classify someone as struggling with issues of mental health. However, it does make this potential more likely.

A big part of the way that children deal with alcohol addiction in the home is they hide it and isolate themselves from others. They hide it from friends, teachers, and other adults who may be able to help them to talk out these problems. This secretive behavior may cause problems for adult children down the road, because they have bottled up so much emotional trauma, and have not learned essential skills for coping, asking for help or forming healthy, safe relationships.

Bottled-up emotions either erupt or remain capped, slowly eating away at an adult child of an alcoholic’s psychological health. Adult children of alcoholics are significantly more likely to struggle with alcohol misuse, abuse, and addiction themselves.

Recognizing Negative Psychological Warning Signs

While there are many warning signs that an adult child of an alcoholic may be struggling psychologically, depending on the individual and the situation, there are universally accepted signs. The following are some of these warning signs:

• Excessive use of alcohol and/or other substances
• Isolating away from family and friends
• Trouble with sleep patterns, either sleeping too much or too little
• A prolonged period of anxiety and/or depression
• Acting out in out-of-the-ordinary ways (sometimes aggressively)
• Expresses having traumatic flashbacks
• Has ideations of self-harm or suicide

What Can I Do to Help Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal?

As one can see, there can be significantly serious outcomes if adult children of alcoholics don’t get the psychological help they need and deserve. One of the easiest ways of helping an adult child of an alcoholic heal is by simply stopping and listening to them. Encouraging them to seek help as an adult because it is never too late to heal and help yourself overcome a traumatic past. Recovery as an adult is possible, as are healthy relationships when we heal ourselves with various sources of help.

Connections can help to determine the next step in supporting them to get help. Suggestions for help might include an EAP, or employee assistance program if you work together. Going to Alanon with them the first time,  or suggesting a recovery professional such as a counselor, therapist, or psychotherapist. Another option is connecting them to an online resource, such as the official website of the National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA) or Alanon meetings. Recovery communities such as Al-Anon, ACA/ACOA, and Alateen can be extremely helpful in finding others who can relate as well.

Adult Children of Alcoholics and NACoA: It’s Never Too Late to Heal From Addiction in the Home

There is a chapter in the primary text (most commonly referred to as the “Big Book”) of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) entitled The Family Afterward that focuses entirely on the effects of alcohol addiction on the family. It states, “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.”

Yes, addiction is a serious family disease that can make families “seriously ill.” This means that there must be a serious family solution. At NACoA, we are here to educate and provide resources to anyone who wants to help support children and adult children of alcoholics to recover.

If unaddressed, adult children of alcoholics can develop a sense of anger, fear, and self-hatred that stems from childhood. It can also contribute to self-serving or people-pleasing behavior. The complex thoughts and behaviors of an adult child coping with the effects of growing up in a household where one used substances are important to address and work through. It is also important to understand what it means to be an adult child of an alcoholic to better help these adult children find ways to cope and work through their issues. Remember, the adult child is not responsible for their parent’s substance use, and ultimately, they need help healing their inner child. For more information, call NACoA today at (301) 468-0985.