An effective tool that NACoA utilizes in its work to bring awareness to those in a position to help children of parents suffering from alcohol or substance misuse is the Seven Cs. It also helps caring adults in positions to support affected children understand how parental addiction devastates children, and how to communicate the simple concepts embodied in the Seven Cs that can assist caring adults grasp what will help children survive and thrive.
Understanding the Seven Cs helps children learn what they cannot change in their families, and that they can still be okay. More importantly, it also provides a road map for helping these children develop a variety of healthy coping skills. This resource is used in children’s groups in drug and alcohol treatment programs, in school groups as an integral part of student assistance programs, in family service agencies, in faith communities, and in drug court programs.
-An excerpt from The Seven Cs, Counselor Magazine, June 4, 2019,
authored by Jerry Moe, MA, creator of the Seven Cs
I didn’t CAUSE it.
I can’t CONTROL it.
I can’t CURE it.
I can help take CARE of myself
by COMMUNICATING my feelings,
Making healthy CHOICES, and
CELEBRATING me.
Caring adults need to understand the Seven Cs, and how to help kids and teens embrace it as a tool for hope and healing. Download a copy of the Seven Cs>>
The First C: I Didn’t Cause It
Children growing up in families affected by substance use disorders (SUDs) often carry feelings of guilt and self-blame, believing they are somehow responsible for the chaos or pain around them. When no one explains the situation in a way they can understand, they may create their own explanations, often blaming themselves. It’s important to reassure children that addiction is a disease, and no matter what, they are not to blame for their family’s struggles.
The Second C: I Can’t Control It
Children often try to fix or stop a parent’s drinking or substance use by taking on responsibilities, mediating conflicts, or striving for perfection. When these efforts don’t work, they may feel like they should try harder. It’s important to teach children that addiction is a disease—those who are stuck, hooked, or trapped by it need help to recover. Children are not responsible for fixing their loved ones. Instead, they deserve the chance to focus on being kids.
The Third C: I Can’t Cure It
Children need to know they cannot cure SUD—it’s a serious medical issue that requires treatment and recovery, which could include counseling, support groups, and/or faith-based practices. While there’s no cure for it, people can find peace and joy by making their own recovery a priority. It’s the responsibility of the person with the SUD to work on their wellness, not the child’s.
The Fourth C: I Can Help Take Care of Myself
Children can’t change or cure SUD, but they can focus on their own self-care. Activities that nurture the body, mind, feelings, and spirit are important for their well-being. Tools like the Serenity Prayer remind children to accept what they can’t change and find courage to care for themselves. Creating a “self-care bag” filled with simple, comforting ideas like reading, gratitude, or playing a game can help children practice self-care daily, giving them strength and support in challenging times.
The Fifth C: Communicating Feelings
Learning to identify and express feelings in healthy ways is an important skill for children. A “feelings vocabulary,” like faces showing different emotions, can help kids name what they feel. Activities like art, writing, role-play, and talking give them safe ways to express themselves and discover what feels most comfortable. In groups, children often find comfort knowing others share their emotions, realizing they are not alone in their experiences.
The Sixth C: Making Healthy Choices
Children can learn to make healthy choices for their well-being, like spending time with friends, journaling, and especially having fun. Most children growing up in these families are very serious and have not experienced much fun or are so guilt-ridden they believe they don’t deserve it. Reducing stress and supporting children to experience and feel comfortable when having fun is essential for normal development; it is very important for a child’s healthy living. Additionally, kids and teenagers need to know it’s okay to ask for help. Identifying “safe people,” such as trusted family members, teachers, or neighbors, gives kids a support network they can turn to in difficult times, helping them feel secure and empowered.
The Seventh C: Celebrating Me
Every child has unique gifts and strengths, but when SUD is in the family it can sometimes overshadow them. By helping children recognize their special qualities and celebrating their accomplishments—whether in school, sports, friendships, or creative arts—we support their resilience and confidence. Acknowledging their successes fosters connection and belonging, which are vital for healing and growth.
By helping families – parents as well as the children – to appreciate what they can and cannot change, the Seven Cs provide a clear road map to help, hope, and healing for anyone affected by substance use disorders growing up.
